


Girlfriend Privileges

by thegirlonpeetamellark



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-17 05:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11844579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlonpeetamellark/pseuds/thegirlonpeetamellark
Summary: Alternate bar scene at the end of 2.20 Beside Still Water"Suddenly the calluses on his palm, the shape of his fingernails, his scarred knuckles, were the most fascinating things in the world to her. She truly almost lost him for good today. It was still hard to wrap her mind around."





	1. Chapter 1

“You and Clary look good together too”

Clary overheard Maia’s remark just as she approached Jace at the bar. She saw Maia’s eyes move from Jace and catch hers. Something strange flickered across Maia's face – a mix of surprise, guilt, worry, maybe? – for the briefest of moments, and then it was gone.

Clary offered Maia a weak smile as Jace turned and noticed her, his gaze cutting back and forth between the two of them. Another odd expression crossed his face, and it was enough to twist Clary's stomach uncomfortably.

Something was going on here.

Maia disappeared in an instant, but Jace turned his attention to her and looked as if he was debating something. He reached out and grabbed Clary’s hand, interlacing their fingers together.

“Can we go somewhere quiet to talk?”

Jace initiating a talk between them felt ominous after the strange vibe she just picked up between him and Maia, but she nodded her agreement anyway and followed him to the back room of the bar where it was quieter. They slid into an empty booth so they were seated along the same side of the bench, Jace’s arm going alongside the back of the seat as they positioned their bodies to face each other.

“What’s up?” Clary asked, trying not to jump to conclusions. “How’re you feeling? Maybe we should head out of here early. I think we’ve both had enough excitement for today.”

Jace offered her a half smile that eased some of her worry because his eyes were gentle as he loving brushed a piece of hair away from her face.

“I’m okay. And yeah, we can get out of here in a little bit. It’s just that…there’s something I need to tell you.” He paused for a long moment and Clary held her breath. “And I want you to hear it from me, and no one else.”

“Okay…” Clary gave a nervous laugh. “What’s up?”

Jace dropped his gaze from her eyes. “A while back…right before the Seelie Court happened…Maia and I…we hooked up.”

Jealousy. Anger. Pain.

Her gut reaction was swift and not pretty, but her logical side kicked in to try and wade through it all and process everything. She took a deep breath and tried to focus on two important things. She had been with Simon at the time, and that couldn’t have been easy for Jace to deal with either, so she knew it wasn't fair to admonish him for anyone he had been with when they weren't together. And there was also the fact that he was telling her now and being honest about it, so she didn’t go around clueless every time she saw Maia for the foreseeable future.

After composing herself, Clary reached out for Jace’s hand, not quite able to meet his gaze.

“And I thought it sucked hearing about you and Kaelie…”

She gave a nervous laugh, still playing with his hand. Suddenly the calluses on his palm, the shape of his fingernails, his scarred knuckles, were the most fascinating things in the world to her. She truly almost lost him for good today. It was still hard to wrap her mind around. Everything happened so fast. It didn’t seem real.

“Clary…” Jace lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of her palm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you by keeping it a secret.”

She palmed the side of his face, her hand softly stroking the short, rough hair of his beard. “It’s okay. Thank you for telling me. To be honest, the more I think about it, the more stuff like that seems inconsequential because you’re here. And I almost lost you today. And I don’t want to ever forget how lucky I am that I got you back.”

Clary smiled at him, truly meaning what she said. It was easy to let go of the petty feelings of jealousy when all she had to do was remember the unbearable agony she had felt when she thought Jace had taken his last breath earlier that today.

Jace offered her a smile in response, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was silent for a moment, and Clary could see it on his face that something was still off.

“What’s wrong?”

Jace met her eyes, almost surprised by her question. He gave a weak shake of his head. “I’m fine.”

Clary crooked an eyebrow at him and tilted her head, not hiding the fact that she wasn’t buying it.

“You know, if I’m going to officially be your girlfriend now, I might have to demand that you tell me when things are bothering you, even if you can’t, or don’t want to, tell anyone else.”

“Officially my girlfriend, huh?”

That, if nothing else, got a smirk out of Jace, his eyes lighting up with pleasure as she declared them a couple.

“Yup. In fact, if you want full access to girlfriend privileges, you got to start off with telling me what’s wrong. And after we talk about that like a real couple and figure out if we can do anything to make you feel better, we can head back to the Institute and get to the fun stuff. You know, where you’re shirtless in my room for longer than ten seconds.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him playfully.

Jace grinned, his smile lighting up his whole face. “You drive a hard bargain, Fray.”

She laughed and then put a hand on his chest, turning serious. “Come on. If there’s anyone you can talk to it’s me. I noticed you didn’t tell Alec what really happened at the lake. Something’s going on. You don’t have to carry it alone. Let me in.”

Taking a deep breath and running a hand through his hair, Jace sobered, looking around the bar briefly before focusing on Clary intently.

“I…I meant what I said before I…before it happened. I love you. And mostly I’m blown away you asked the Angel to bring me back with your only wish. I’m grateful for it, I am. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave you, or Alec and Izzy, or the Lightwoods behind, truly. And obviously if the situation was reversed I would have done the same thing, because I couldn’t bear a world without you in it.”

Clary listened closely, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

“Okay, and…”

Jace struggled to get the next part out. “But, something feels…off. I can’t explain it. I don’t know if it’s just ‘holy shit I died and was brought back to life’ or something else. I keep trying to shake it, but it’s like an itch I can’t quite pinpoint. And…if I’m going to be completely honest, there’s the warrior in me, the part that is a soldier before anything else that is saying in the back of my mind that I should have died in battle. That…Valentine won, and I only came away with my life on a technicality. It feels like I cheated.”

Clary didn’t know what to say.

She was relieved to hear him admit that he was thankful she had brought him back, but she also knew Jace was being honest about the conflict he was feeling now.

And something did seem off with him. She could sense it.

Before she could formulate a proper response, Luke interrupted them. And judging by the sheer volume of his voice and how unsteady he was on his feet, he had had his fair share of drinks so far tonight.

"Clary!!!"

She laughed as Luke called her name as he approached their table, bending down to give her an awkward hug. 

They chatted for a few moments, Luke patting Jace's head drunkenly.

"You know we're going to need to have the talk soon if you're dating my little girl, Jace."

Jace smirked at him. "As soon as you're not a sticky, wet dog come find me and I'll be happy to chat."

When Luke finally wandered away from their table, distracted by something else, Clary turned back to Jace and grabbed his hand.

"Come on. Let's get back to the Institute and we can talk about what you told me."

Jace followed her out of the booth before they slipped out the back door of the bar and into the alley. He slung his arm over her shoulders and Clary's arm went around his waist.

"Looking forward to cashing in on those girlfriend privileges Fray, I got to tell you."

"Hmm…maybe we should take it easy. I mean, with the whole traumatic dying thing today." Clary teased.

She regretted it almost immediately when that pained look of worry flashed across Jace's face. He recovered quickly enough though and pulled her in to place a kiss on her forehead.

"I've waited for this for too long to let a little thing like that stop us." Jace smirked at her, but Clary could tell it was a little forced.

They were both quiet on the way back to the Institute and Clary tried to gather her thoughts. She didn't know if she had any solutions or answers that would really make Jace feel any better, but she knew she was going to try.

She was officially his girlfriend now, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Jace’s mouth was everywhere. 

Clary couldn’t focus she was so distracted by his lips.

They had made it back to the Institute without saying much, although Jace hadn’t let go of her hand the whole time.

When they got to her room, and the door closed shut behind them, Jace wasted no time claiming those ‘girlfriend privileges’ she had joked about at the party. 

His hands were on her hips and the heat from his hands was searing through the thin material of the dress she was wearing, making her skin warm. Her dress was being rucked up by the grip of his hands, pulling her closer like he was desperate to feel her body pressed against his.

Jace made a trail of kisses down her throat and her head fell back like she was intoxicated. She was vaguely aware that he was walking her back towards her bed, but she kept her hands wrapped around his neck to keep herself steady. 

The back of her knees hit the edge of the bed and with a gentle push from Jace she fell back on the soft mattress, landing with a little bounce. Jace looked down at her laid her out on the bed and his gaze roamed over her hungrily, like he couldn’t decide where he wanted to look. He kicked off his boots before dropping a knee to the bed and moving over her, helping her move up towards the pillows.

When she was properly situated, Jace attacked her mouth again like a man on a mission. Her legs fell apart to allow his hips to press in between them, and she couldn’t help the moan that escaped from the back of her throat at the pressure of his hard body against hers.

His lips finally pulled away and she gasped his name, overwhelmed at how good it felt to be with him like this after waiting so long for it. 

Jace was still moving his lips to all the parts that made her weak; behind her ear, the hollow of her throat, across her chest. She tugged at his shirt unconsciously, wanting all that bare flesh, that she had become so enamored with when they used their tracking runes, pressed against her.

She was so lost that it took her brain a moment to register any rational thought when his hand slid up the outside of her bare thigh, under her dress. Clary was so very tempted to see where things went, but the part of her that cared about Jace’s well being above anything else urged her to put the brakes on.

“Jace,” she whispered against his lips as his mouth returned to hers, sharing slow, long, soft kisses that made her dizzy with want.

“So far it doesn’t suck being your boyfriend.” His hand had entered dangerous territory, nearly pushing her dress all the way up to her hips.

Clary put her hand down over Jace’s and halted his progress.

Jace stopped immediately, pulling back from their kiss with a look of concern. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, of course,” she reassured him, cupping his face in her hands and offering him a smile. “Maybe a little too good. Trust me, I want this more than anything, but maybe we should slow down a little.”

Jace’s body seemed to relax from the pent up tension they had been building with their heavy make-out session, but he didn’t seem too disappointed at her for pulling back. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and flopped onto the bed next to her, rolling to his back and putting an arm around her to bring her against his side.

“You’re right. We shouldn’t have too much fun at once.” Jace agreed. “Plus, this has been a long time in the making. I don’t want to rush things”

Clary tucked her head in the spot between his chest and his shoulder, her hand starting to draw patterns on his chest. “And besides, today was so crazy. I haven’t forgotten what you told me at the bar. I think you might have been invoking girlfriend privileges instead of having to talk about any of that.”

Jace sighed, his hand running over her hair like he always did when they held each other like this. “You may be right,” he admitted. “I don’t know. I did want you when we got back here. Still do. That’s definitely not a lie. But I have been trying to ignore this feeling of something being off with me. I’m afraid if I focus on it too much it’ll get worse.”

Clary turned her head to look up at him, wishing she could make all of his worries and fears disappear. It wasn’t fair, she thought. They had been granted a miracle. He had been dead, lying there by the lake, and by the mercy of the angel he was given a second chance. Nothing should matter after that. Everything should be perfect. Jace was laying here beside her warm and alive, instead of lost forever.

She reached for his other hand, lacing their fingers together. “I think if you still feel like something is wrong in a couple of days, we need to tell people about what happened.”

Clary held her breath, waiting for the pushback, his refusal, but after a long moment Jace finally spoke, surprising her. 

“We can tell Alec, but just him. And if it gets any worst I want to go see the Silent Brothers. I think if anyone would know what’s going, it would be them.”

Clary released a sigh of relief and glanced up at him. “I think that’s a good idea.” She leaned in for another kiss, but suddenly felt shy asking her next question. “Are you going to…do you want to…sleep in here with me?”

Jace was quiet for a moment and the prolonged silence forced Clary to drag her gaze up to meet his. She saw him looking down at her with a soft look of adoration. He have her a half smile, leaning down to kiss her forehead. 

“Didn’t I tell you I’d never leave your side if I got the chance?”

Clary laughed feeling lighter and happier than she had all day. She pulled away from Jace and scooted off the bed. “I’m going to change then. Be right back.”

When she had finished washing her face, brushing her teeth, and changing into her sleep clothes in her bathroom, she came back out to a sight that made her heart pound loudly in her chest.

Jace was in her bed. Jace was under the covers in her bed. Jace was under the covers in her bed shirtless.

His hands were linked behind his head and he was looking at her like he knew exactly what the sight of him like that was doing to her.

“You look comfortable.” She teased, throwing the dress she had worn that night into her hamper.

“Quite.” He agreed. “I don’t know if anyone told you this, but we gave you the room with the best bed when you moved here. We wanted to help you adjust to everything. I’ve been dying to try this bed out for a while now.”

Clary pulled back her sheets and slid into bed next to Jace, her heart beating a little faster when she saw he was in nothing but his boxers.

“Oh, so you’re just here for the comfortable mattress, is that it?”

“Something like that.” Jace grinned at her as they each turned on their sides to face one another, their heads resting on their pillows just a few inches apart.

He reached out to push some hair away from her face and they were both silent for a while, just looking at each other. 

“Thank you. I don’t think I’ve said it enough. But thank you for giving me a second chance. And thank you for making me talk about what’s wrong tonight. I feel a little better now that I told you.”

Clary cupped Jace’s hand that was still running over her hair soothingly. She gazed into his eyes and tried to convey the truth behind her next words. “I meant what I said. I don’t want anything else in this world, except you. And I would do it again. I would do anything for you.” 

Her voice started to waver with emotion, but she forced herself to hold it together and continue. “When you were lying there…and you said you loved me…” Her tears started to fall at the horrifying memory. She felt Jace wiping away the wetness from her cheeks. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you that I did too. And that haunted me.”

Her eyes flew up to meet Jace’s. She remembered the nightmare of thinking he was gone forever and the idea of her never having told him how she felt.

“I love you.” She whispered. “So much.”

Jace swallowed roughly, trying to hold back his emotions. He crushed his lips to hers in a searing kiss that was somehow both brutal and tender. Their lips tangled for a while until her mouth was swollen and she was gasping for air when they pulled away.

“Let’s get some sleep.” Jace whispered in her ear before planting a kiss on her neck. He pulled her against him and she remembered thinking how good it felt to have his warm body next to hers before her eyelids grew heavy and she dozed off.

**Author's Note:**

> Long time fic writer, first attempt at Clace fic! Let me know what you think and if there's enough interest I might write a part two of them back at the Institute! :)


End file.
